Escape Plan (2013)

Film Title: Escape Plan
Released: October 18, 2013
Directed by: Mikael Håfström
Written by: Miles Chapman & Jason Keller (as Arnell Jesko) based on a story by Miles Chapman
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwazenegger & Jim Caviezel

Plot: A man who has made a business of testing prison security systems by breaking out of them is double-crossed on a job and has to find his way out of the most secure prison on earth.

IMDb: 6.8/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 49/100
My Score: 3/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

The 2013 film Escape Plan stars Sylvester Stallone as security analyst Ray Breslin, a man so good at designing secure installations that his handbook on the subject is considered the bible by the Federal Bureau of Prisons. He is paid millions of dollars by individuals wishing to test their systems, a service he performs by being incarcerated in their facilities and breaking out of them. When he is double-crossed on a high-risk job for the CIA, he has to escape from the most secret and secure prison ever conceived called the Tomb. To complete his plan, he enlists help from some fellow inmates (Arnold Schwarzenegger and Faran Tahir) while trying to survive the viciousness of the warden (Jim Caviezel) and his head guard (Vinnie Jones). The story was a actually a bit more convoluted than I was expecting, with some decent twists and turns I didn't see coming. Mostly a mystery/thriller whose action component doesn't really show up until the final act, Escape Plan is the first film in which the two action titans Stallone and Schwazenegger have starred opposite each other for an entire film. Although they both appeared in The Expendables and The Expendables 2 before this one, Schwazenegger's roles were considerably smaller than Stallone's. It was nice to see the two of them share the screen for so long, reminiscent of Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro in the John Avnet movie Righteous Kill. But much like Avnet's film, it may be remembered only for the casting choice. If that happens, I think it would be a shame since the film has more to offer than just the actors assembled, which is pretty admittedly pretty impressive and includes Sam Neill, Amy Ryan, Vincent D'Onofrio, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson and Graham Beckel.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! (2004)

Film Title: Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!
Released: January 23, 2004
Directed by: Robert Luketic
Written by: Victor Levin
Starring: Kate Bosworth, Topher Grace & Josh Duhamel

Plot: A small town girl wins a contest for a date with a celebrity. When the movie star starts falling for her, it causes chaos in the life of the girl's best friend, who is also in love with her.

IMDb: 5.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 53/100
My Score: 2.5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

The 2004 romantic comedy Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! is a decent, if not great, entry into the genre. Rosalee (Kate Bosworth), a PigglyWiggly cashier from Frazier’s Bottom, WV, wins a charity-sponsored contest for a date with movie star heartthrob Tad Hamilton (Josh Duhamel). After Hamilton becomes smitten with her, he follows Rosie back home, throwing a monkey wrench in the plans of Pete (Topher Grace), her best friend and co-worker, to tell her that he loves her. Grace is by far the best thing about this movie. Think of his character Eric Forman from That 70’s Show twenty years in the future but only four years older and you’ll understand who the slightly awkward and geeky but very lovable Pete Monash is. He and Kathryn Hahn’s bartender Angelica (who is smitten with Pete the way Pete is smitten with Rosie) have the best scene in the movie. These two characters are the only ones with any real depth to them. The rest of the cast of familiar faces are all flat by comparison. Gary Cole is Rosie’s dad, doing his best but is completely lost and out of his depth. Nathan Lane and Sean Hayes are Hamilton’s manager and agent, respectively, both named Richard Levy. These two provide comic relief in their scenes but are so one dimensional that they are referred to as The Driven and The Shameless in the credits. The monikers pretty much sum up the characters. Even Rosie’s other best friend Cathy (the cute-as-a-button Ginnifer Goodwin) seems to only be around to spout soft-core fantasies about Tad Hamilton. Speaking of Hamilton himself, he is a one trick pony as the egotistical movie star, pretty much unrepentant even in the end. The most disappointing depth-deprived character is probably Rosalee herself. Sure she ends up with the right guy in the end but her character didn’t need to go through any journey or change in any way to reach her destination. There a handful of other familiar faces who pop up, as well. Stephen Tobolowsky is Pete’s boss in an early scene, a pre-Oscar-winning Octavia Spencer is in a few scenes as another co-worker and Amy Smart acts opposite Duhamel in a scene from a movie within the movie. That's not to mention Jordana Brewster and Paris Hilton whose scenes ended up on the cutting room floor. There are some pretty funny lines (“Guard your carnal treasure!”) but this one is pretty much light fluff with Grace really doing the only heavy lifting. This is director Robert Luketic’s second film, having previously directed Legally Blonde starring Reese Witherspoon. He would go to on helm Monster-in-Law starring Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda, 21 starring Bosworth, Jim Sturgess, and Kevin Spacey, The UglyTruth starring Kathrine Heigl and Gerard Butler, and The Killers, starring Heigl and Ashton Kutcher. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! was nominated for eight Teen Choice Awards in 2004 but failed to win any.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

Film Title: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Released: January 27, 2003 (US premiere)
Directed by: Donald Petrie
Written by: Kristen Buckley, Brian Regan & Burr Steers, based on the book by Michele Alexander & Jeannie Long
Starring: Kate Hudson & Matthew McConaughey

Plot: Two business-minded professionals use one another to further their own careers but start developing feelings for one another.

IMDb: 6.3/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 42/100
My Score: 2.5/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

The 2003 romantic comedy How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, an uneven Kate Hudson/Matthew McConaughey vehicle, is pretty much a text-book chick flick. A veritable cliché smorgasbord, they come in all shapes and sizes from character to story to dialogue. A pretty journalist named Andie Anderson (Hudson) is writing an article called “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” for “Composure” (not “Cosmopolitan,” wink, wink) magazine. She will intentionally make mistakes women make in relationships (the script’s claim, not mine) to drive a man away from her and then write about the experience. Meanwhile, a handsome ad man named Benjamin Berry (McConaughey), with vague bad boy tendencies and six pack abs, wants to land a big diamond account for his firm. He makes the claim that he knows the opposite sex so well that he can make any woman fall in love with him. His boss tells him that if he does, in say, the next ten days, just in time for a big party thrown by the diamond company, the account will be his. Through a series of highly coincidental plot devices, these two end up using each other to meet their individual goals. But since this is a rom-com, of course they start developing real feelings for one another.  Will their budding love survive the climax when all the skeletons pop out of their closets? The movie wouldn’t have as made nearly as much as it did ($177 million worldwide) if they didn’t.  Everything about this movie is formulaic on both sides of the gender divide. Not only do we see smoke-filled poker nights but we are also treated to women with post break-up hysteria. Nothing about the movie seems original. Even the soundtrack is full of easily forgettable adult pop hits. That’s not to say that there is nothing redeemable about this movie. The leads have good chemistry and are supported by a number of familiar faces, even if you don’t know their names. People like Kathryn Hahn, Adam Goldberg, Thomas Lennon, Bebe Neuwirth and Robert Klein. There are funny lines peppered throughout, like “You mean Miss Babylon 5?” when referring to a girl in a bar. Anyone passingly familiar with the sci-fi series will get a chuckle out of that one. There are 25 great minutes of movie between the poker night scene and Andie and Ben returning from a weekend visit to Ben’s parents’ house on Staten Island. This chunk of film contains the comedic and emotional highlights of the film; a session of fake couples therapy run by Hahn and the humanity of Ben’s close-knit family, respectively. It’s also the period in which they start recognizing the feelings they have for one another. After these alternatingly funny and touching moments, the script goes right back into farce, lowering the emotional and intellectual IQ of the audience in the process. The whole thing culminates in a ridiculous climax only plausible because the script says it is. McConaughey and Hudson are likeable and watchable but there really isn’t much special about the movie. Based on the illustrated manual of what not to do in relationships called “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: The Universal Don’ts of Dating” written by Michele Alexander and Jeannie Long, this won’t be the best chick flick you’ll ever see but fellas, you could do worse. Director Donald Petrie is no stranger to chick flicks, having helmed both Miss Congeniality and Mystic Pizza. It was nominated for a handful of Teen ChoiceAwards, an MTV Movie Award and won a BMI Film & TV Award.