Snowpiercer (2013)

Film Title: Snowpiercer
Released: August 1, 2013 (South Korea)
Directed by: Bong Joon Ho
Written by: Bong Joon Ho & Kelly Masterson, based on Le Transperceneige by Jacques Lob, Benjamin Legrand & Jean-Marc Rochette
Starring: Chris Evans, Song Kang Ho, Jaime Bell, Tilda Swinton, John Hurt, Octavia Spencer & Ed Harris

Plot: The last remnants of humanity board a globe encircling train called the Snowpiercer after a failed global warming experiment. 17 years later, a revolt has begun to buck the caste system that has arisen.

IMDb: 7.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 95/100
My Score: 4/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Director Bong Joon Ho’s gritty post-apocalyptic sci-fi film Snowpiercer far outshines its graphic novel origins. I read the English translations of all three volumes of Le Transperceneige in preparation of watching this film and wasn’t overly impressed with them. It’s safe to say that I didn’t have very high expectations for the movie but was pleasantly surprised. One of those films that instead of adapting the story of its source material it takes the basic premise alone and creates its own tale. After a failed global warming experiment has brought on a fatal ice age, the last remnants of humanity are travelling on a revolutionary train with a perpetual motion engine that will never break down. A strictly and sadistically enforced caste system has been in place for the 17 years since the train has started its global circuit, but one man Curtis (Chris Evans) is determined to upset the status quo and bring down the system that has enslaved so many for so long. The movie succeeds on many levels. The acting is superb, the story incredibly well formed and the emotional resonance is deep. Like most great films, it transcends the genre in which it is presented. There are some surprising plot twists and emotionally gut-wrenching scenes. Highlights include the performances by Chris Evans, Octavia Spencer and Ed Harris. If there was possibly one drawback (if only a small one) it was the ending. I understand the need for a happy (-ish, anyway) ending but perhaps it would have been truer to the rest of the film, as well as the source material, if there wasn’t one. This is more of a thinking man’s sci-fi, focusing more on character rather than flashy special effects. That’s not to say there aren’t any but the film does not rely on them to carry it through. John Hurt, Tilda Swinton, Jamie Bell and award-winning Korean actor Song Kang Ho co-star in this widely acclaimed film that appeared on no less than 40 critics top ten lists and was heaped with accolades. This is third film Bong has been behind the camera while Song was in front of it, having previously collaborated on the films Memories of Murder and The Host, also to wide praise.

R.I.P.D. (2013)

Film Title: R.I.P.D.
Released: July 17, 2013 (Iceland)
Directed by: Robert Schwentke
Written by: Phil Hay & Matt Manfredi (screenplay), based on a story by David Dobkin, Phil Hay & Matt Manfredi, based on the Dark Horse comic created by Peter M. Lenkov
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Ryan Reynolds & Kevin Bacon

Plot: A cop killed by his partner joins the ranks of the Rest in Peace Department, an undead police force tasked with tracking down escaped souls.

IMDb: 5.6/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 13/100
My Score: 2/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

R.I.P.D. is an effects heavy 2013 adaption of a Dark Horse comic book series of the same name. Nick (Ryan Reynolds) is not so much a dirty cop as he his a guy just trying to give his bride some piece of mind and a guarantee of future security. When he gets squeamish over taking some undocumented gold after a bust and decides to back out, his partner Hayes (Kevin Bacon) kills him. Instead of heading off to Hell, Nick's soul is intercepted by the Rest in Peace Department and he is given a choice: work for the R.I.P.D. and maybe be able to get to Heaven, or take the express route down. Nick is saddled with former wild west sheriff Roy (Jeff Bridges) and they stumble across a conspiracy concerning the gold at the heart of Nick's murder. Like many movies who focus on effects rather than coherent story, R.I.P.D. is a mess of shallow characters and whose plot doesn't make a whole lot of sense. There are some inspired moments, though. R.I.P.D. officers have avatars when working the streets of the living so as not to be recognized in any way by those they may have left behind. Nick is seen as an old Chinese man (James Hong) and Roy as a gorgeous blonde (Victoria's Secret model Marisa Miller) who is continually hit on by men. Instead of a gun, living people see Nick's avatar wielding a banana. Unfortunately, these high points are few and far between. Bridges as the out-of-time-and-place lawman Roy seemed forced and a caricature instead of a character. Bacon comes across as flat and the normally reliable Reynolds has very little to work with. I cringed when Nick told Roy he hoped the coyote who had made love to Roy's skull after he died had gotten both eye sockets. Who thinks this is funny? And if the gold that Nick and Hayes split was to be used to build a machine to close the soul portal and allow all the dead souls to stay on Earth, why did Hayes allow Nick to take any of it to begin with? It doesn't matter 'cause look at all the weird looking dead people and the whirly killer vortexes that appear for no reason and disappear just as suddenly. Don't they look cool? Mary-Louise Parker co-stars as Proctor, Nick and Roy's boss who was once romantically involved with Roy. Their antagonist relationship goes from tiresome "chief-yells-at-hero-cop-for-not-following-the-rules" to downright creepy in the final scene. Stephanie Szostak adds some heart as Nick's pretty wife struggling with her husband's death but the uneven script leaves the big emotional scenes feeling contrived. Not much here to recommend repeat viewings. Director Robert Schwentke has directed another comic book adaption, RED starring Bruce Willis and Parker, and has been given the reigns of the Divergent series, directing the sequels Insurgent and the upcoming (as of this writing) Allegiant: Part 1. Writing partners Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi penned the live-action adaptation of Aeon Flux and the remake of Clash of the Titans. David Dobkin directed the Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn vehicle Wedding Crashers and The Judge starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Robert Duvall, who was nominated for an Oscar for his role. Peter M. Lenkov developed the Hawaii Five-0 TV reboot with Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci and co-wrote Demolition Man starring Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes.

Ender's Game (2013)

Film Title: Ender's Game
Released: November 1, 2013
Directed by: Gavin Hood
Written by: Gavin Hood based on the novel by Orson Scott Card
Starring: Asa Butterfield, Harrison Ford, Hailee Steinfeld & Ben Kingsley

Plot: In the wake of an alien attack on Earth, the International Fleet pin their hopes on young Ender Wiggin to save the human race from the extraterrestrial threat.

IMDb: 6.8/10

Rotten Tomatoes: 60/100
My Score: 4/5

Let me first say that I love the book Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card and have read just about every entry into the various series of subsequent novels that have expanded the Enderverse, as it has been fashioned. I first read the novel when I was in junior high and have reread it every few years or so since then, gleaning something different from it each time. It is one of the few books that I given several times to numerous people as a gift and stands as one of my favorite novels of all time. With such an emotional attachment to the source material, needless to say I was extremely skeptical of a Hollywood adaptation and dreaded watching it. My fears, however, were unfounded. Ender's Game is the story of Ender Wiggin (Asa Butterfield), a boy who is given the responsibility of saving all of humanity. In a future where Earth has been attacked by an insectile alien species known as the Formics, the world has banded together and formed the International Fleet, a world military force dedicated to preserving our planet and our species. Children are trained from a young age in military academies and then in a floating space station known as Battle School, commanded by Col. Graff (Harrison Ford). In his many trials at Battle School, Butterfield is honed into the greatest military commander humanity has ever known, equal parts compassion and killer instinct. The film is incredibly acted not only by Butterfield, who brings the beloved character to life better than I could have hoped for, but also by the fantastic supporting cast, including Ford, Viola Davis, Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail Breslin (all Oscar nominees), and Ben Kingsley (an Oscar winner). Moises Arias gives a chilling performance as Bonzo Madrid, an arrogant and somewhat sadistic fellow student who takes an immediate dislike to Butterfield due to his own insecurities. Top notch effects combined with the social and moral questions raised by the script, and to which it gives no answers, makes Ender's Game a underrated film adaptation of a young adult novel in a market that now seems to be flooded with films using this type of source material (The Hunger Games, Divergent and The Giver to name just a few). The film was the source of controversy due to author Card's religious views, namely his opposition to homosexuality and same-sex marriage stemming from his Mormon faith. Several groups and individuals called for a boycott of the film in protest. In response, Card, who was also a producer on the film, did not take part in the marketing campaign. Ender's Game was nominated for three Saturn Awards (Best Science Fiction Film, Best Supporting Actor: Harrison Ford and Best Performance by a Young Actor: Asa Butterfield) and Butterfield was nominated for Best Young Actor awards by the Broadcast Film Critics Association, the Phoenix Film Critics Society and the Washington DC Area Film Critics Association. While it is nearly impossible to adapt a novel of any type to the screen word for word, Ender's Game succeeds more than it fails and distills the essence of this incredibly powerful novel better than most.

The Return of the Incredible Hulk (1977)

Film Title: The Return of the Incredible Hulk
Also known as: The Incredible Hulk: Death in the Family
Released: November 27, 1977
Directed by: Alan J. Levi
Written by: Kenneth Johnson
Starring: Bill Bixby, Laurie Prange & Lou Ferrigno

Plot: While travelling, Dr. David Banner meets a crippled girl who collapses. When he takes her to her home to recover, he notices the questionable medical treatment she is receiving and decides to stick around to investigate.

IMDb: 6.9/10
My Score: 2.5/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Originally called The Return of the Incredible Hulk, this TV movie sequel to the pilot of the television series, that also saw a theatrical release in markets overseas, was subsequently broken into two parts and retitled Death in the Family when rebroadcast in syndication. In the wake of the pilot, Dr. David Banner (Bill Bixby) has been presumed dead in the same explosion that killed his partner Dr. Elaina Marks (Susan Sullivan) and has been blamed on his alter ego, the Hulk (Lou Ferrigno). He does not challenge the claim, instead he becomes a nomad and searches for a way to reverse his condition. While walking along a highway heading to the town of Everett, CA, Bixby comes across a crippled girl (Laurie Prange) in an orchard. After a brief discussion, she heads towards her home but collapses and Bixby comes to her aid, carrying her up to the house. Once inside, he meets the girl's stepmother (Dorothy Tristan) and notices that a medication that her nurse is giving her is not what the label on the bottle says that it is. Despite objections from Prange's boyfriend (Gerald McRaney), the farm foreman, Tristan offers Bixby a job as a fruit picker. His interest piqued by the false medication, he agrees, and meets Prange's doctor, Dr. Bonifant (William Daniels). What he ultimately uncovers is a plot by Tristan and Daniels to kill Prange so that they can inherit her considerable wealth. With the help of a drunkard (John McLiam), and Ferrigno, of course, Bixby is able to get Prange to safety in the end. Co-starring Jack Colvin and Mills Watson, The Return of the Incredible Hulk is not nearly as emotionally impactful as its predecessor. In fact, there are some scenes that are just down right hokey, for instance when Ferrigno is fighting a bear in the swamp; its actually almost a little embarrassing to watch. While most of the performances are decent enough, Prange really struggles and brings down many of those scenes in which she appears. Watch the scene of Ferrigno fighting the bear below and give me your own point view.

The Incredible Hulk (1977)

Film Title: The Incredible Hulk
Released: November 4, 1977
Directed by: Kenneth Johnson
Written by: Kenneth Johnson based on the character created by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee
Starring: Bill Bixby, Lou Ferrigno, Jack Colvin & Susan Sullivan

Plot: A scientist researching feats of superhuman strength in ordinary people performs an experiment on himself that causes him to become a raging green Hulk.

IMDb: 6.9/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 57/100
My Score: 3.5/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

This is the pilot episode of The Incredible Hulk television series. It premiered as a TV movie on CBS in the beginning of November 1977 and was followed by another TV movie at the end of the same month but it wasn't until March of 1978 that the series began running weekly. Despite it being a made-for-television pilot, the film did see a theatrical release outside of the US, including France, the Philippines, Germany and Finland. This version of the character(s) sees some significant changes in the origin story from the comic books and subsequent incarnations. In the comics (The Incredible Hulk #1, May 1962), Dr. Bruce Banner is a scientist caught in the blast of an experimental gamma bomb while saving teenager Rick Jones from the explosion. Initially, the transformation of Banner into the Hulk, whose skin was gray, happened from sunset to sunrise but this only lasted a short time as he was cured in issue #4 of the series. Afterward, he used a gamma-ray machine to induce the transformations and allowed him to harness the Hulk's power with Banner's intelligence intact. However, the machine created side effects that made him sick and weak for a time when becoming human again and the eventual overuse led to the most popular version of the Hulk, that of the rampaging, child-like green-skinned brute whose appearance is caused by anger or stress. It is this incarnation that Lou Ferrigno portrays here and in the ensuing television series and TV movies. This film introduces us to Dr. David Bruce Banner (Bill Bixby), a scientist studying regular people who exhibited extraordinary strength in times of great stress, something he could not produce when he and his wife were involved in a car accident that took her life. Bixby and his partner, Dr. Elaina Marks (the luminous Susan Sullivan), are searching for the causes of such displays of power to learn how to tap into those reservoirs of strength at will. To that end, Bixby discovers that gamma radiation plays an integral part of the manifestations and exposes himself to an unintentionally large dose of gamma rays. At first, there are noticeable effects but when he is on way home in the rain, a flat tire causes him to lose his temper and triggers his change into the Hulk. As an origin story that sets up the television series to follow, you can't get much better than The Incredible Hulk. Well plotted and well acted, the movie even sets up Jack Colvin as the unscrupulous tabloid journalist who chases Bixby/Ferrigno for the next several years. As good as Sullivan and Bixby are (both are wonderful and have a really great chemistry), the best performance for my money is from Susan Batson. Batson is the mother of a child who had an almost identical experience to that Bixby's but succeeded where he failed. Her delivery is natural and organic and the emotion she exudes in the climax of her tale almost brings one to tears themselves. Watch the clip of her speaking to Bixby and Sullivan below and see if you agree with me.

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)

Film Title: Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning
Released: September 22, 2012 (Austin Fantastic Fest)
Directed by: John Hyams
Written by: Jon Greenhalgh, John Hyams & Doug Magnuson based on a story by Moshe Diamant & John Hyams based on characters created by Dean Devlin, Christopher Leitch & Richard Rothstein
Starring: Scott Adkins, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren & Andrei Arlovski

Plot: After a man recovers from a severe beating in which his family is murdered in front of him, he goes on a quest to find the one responsible but soon discovers that nothing is what it seems.

IMDb: 5.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 51/100
My Score: 3/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning is the sixth film in the Universal Soldier franchise but only the third to be recognized as canonical. John Hyams, director of the previous film Regeneration, returns to helm this entry, which he also co-wrote. Also returning are stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and Andrei Arlovski. In past installments, the main character has been Luc Devereaux, usually portrayed by Van Damme, but his time, however, the focus is on series newcomer Scott Adkins. In the opening sequence, filmed in first-person perspective, Adkins is awoken by his young daughter telling him that there are monsters in the house. At the urging of his wife, he searches the house and discovers a group of masked individuals in his kitchen that proceed to viciously beat him with a crowbar. His wife and child are then dragged into his view and one of the assailants (Van Damme) removes his ski-mask before shooting the woman and little girl in the head. Fast forward nine months and Adkins awakens in a hospital from a coma. He is visited by an FBI agent (Rus Blackwell) that asks him if he remembers the attack and the man who killed his family, showing him a picture of a Van Damme for clarification. Adkins is released from the hospital and proceeds to piece together the gaps in his memory, said to be caused by his head injury, and to track down Van Damme for revenge. What follows is bit of fresh air for the franchise but the results fall somewhat short of the intentions, not quite reaching the heights it aims for. A few decent plot twists, which really shouldn't be that surprising to anyone familiar with the series, a couple of excellent fight scenes (the Adkins/Arlovski fight in the sporting goods store is definitely a highlight) and more blood and guts than the entire rest of the series combined try to compensate for the weaker points of the film. Repeated several times is an almost nauseating strobe effect that should be a concern to anyone who suffers from epilepsy and Adkins and female lead Mariah Bonner, who plays a stripper, have zero chemistry. I mentioned in my review for Regeneration that one doesn't watch a Universal Soldier film for depth. As if in response to that criticism, Day of Reckoning attempts not just to be a action film but also a violently gritty psychological thriller full of conspiracies, dilapidated locations and seedy characters, including prostitutes, governments agents and a memorable disfigured guy who has an office inside of a meat locker. Having now watched every film in the series, I realize that the script recycles many tropes from the previous entries, like cloned soldiers, messianic leaders and sleeper UniSol agents infiltrating the government. Not a terrible entry but also not as entirely new as it would appear at first glance.

The Invincible Iron Man (2007)

Film Title: The Invincible Iron Man

Released: January 23, 2007

Directed by: Patrick Archibald & Jay Oliva supervised by Frank Paur

Written by: Greg Johnson & Craig Kyle based on a story by Avi Arad based on characters created by Stan Lee & Larry Lieber

Starring: Marc Worden, Gwendoline Yeo & Fred Tatasciore

Plot: When industrialist Tony Stark is critically wounded by insurgents as he is raising an ancient Chinese city, he creates a suit of armor to escape. He then uses this armor, becoming the superhero Iron Man, to fight an ancient evil that has escaped from the Chinese ruins. 

IMDb: 6.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes: No score
My Score: 2.5/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Appearing almost a year and a half prior to its live action counterpart, The Invincible Iron Man offers a similar but variant origin story of the titular character than either the later film or the original comic books. In all three versions, the basics are the same: billionaire genius Tony Stark is injured by villains who kidnap him; severely injured, someone saves his life with a device that is the only thing keeping him alive; once stabilized, the villains force him to build weapons for them but instead of weapons for the bad guys, Stark builds a prototype armor with the help of the person who saved his life and escapes his captors. In the comics (Tales of Suspense #39, March 1963) Stark is kidnapped by a group led by Wong-Chu and saved by Ho Yinsen who dies in the escape attempt. As Stark is making his way back to the American forces, he comes across a wounded Marine fighter pilot, James "Rhodey" Rhodes. In the live action film, Stark is kidnapped by the terrorist organization the Ten Rings, led by Raza, and saved by Yinsen, who dies in the escape attempt. Stark is then found by Rhodey, with whom he was already friends with. In this animated feature, Stark and Rhodey are both kidnapped by the insurgent group the Jade Dragons, led by Wong Chu. Rhodey saves Stark's life and they both escape their captors alive. The Jade Dragons are a group of guerrilla warriors trying to sabotage Stark's attempts to raise an ancient Chinese city because they believe that in doing so, the spirit of the Mandarin, an ancient dictator and mass murderer, will be released to wreak havoc upon the world once more. I have to say that I wasn't overly impressed with The Invincible Iron Man. The marriage of computer and traditional hand drawn animation isn't all that seamless and it takes the movie quite a while to really get rolling. In spite of that, there were a few moments where I was surprised by the hard edge the film took, like when Wong Chu shoots a fellow prisoner in the head to persuade Stark to build his weapons for him. A few small plot twists are refreshing but not really enough to overcome the fairly two-dimensional characterizations of most of the cast. Certainly not the worst animated film I've ever seen, but if you want to be satisfied by an Iron Man feature, I'd suggest the live action Jon Favreau version over this one. The movie features the talents of several accomplished voice actors including Marc Worden as Tony Stark, Gwendolyn Yeo as Li Mei, Fred Tatasciore as the Mandarin, Rodney Saulsberry as Rhodey Rhodes, Elisa Gabrielli as Pepper Potts and James Sie as Wong Chu.

Iron Man (2008)

Film Title: Iron Man

Released: May 2, 2008

Directed by: Jon Favreau

Written by: Mark Fergus, Matt Holloway, Art Marcum & Hawk Ostby based on characters created by Don Heck, Jack Kirby, Stan Lee & Larry Lieber

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges & Gwyneth Paltrow

Plot: When billionaire playboy genius Tony Stark gets kidnapped, he creates a suit of armor to escape. Once free, he improves upon the design and becomes the hero known as Iron Man.

IMDb: 7.9/10

Rotten Tomatoes: 93/100

My Score: 4/5

Iron Man is the 2008 blockbuster that kicked off the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or MCU, a huge shared universe of various Marvel Comics superheroes whose first phase of films culminated in Joss Whedon's The Avengers in 2012. Robert Downey Jr is Tony Stark, a deeply flawed, arrogant genius billionaire who is equal parts womanizer and philanthropist. Downey Jr is pitch perfect in the role, giving us an egotistical bad boy that we fall in love with and root for all the way. Gwyneth Paltrow is Pepper Potts, Tony's long-suffering assistant who becomes a budding love interest once Stark starts to get his priorities straight. I'm not sure that I've ever seen Paltrow look as good as she does in this film and she plays Pepper with a healthy dose of spunk, matching Downey Jr quip for quip with ease. The chemistry between these two is so believable and natural that you never once question their relationship. Jeff Bridges is Obadiah Stane, an old partner of Tony's dad, Howard Stark, and runs Stark Industries with Tony. Bridges brings more than enough gravitas to the role as required by the character's story arc. Lastly among the principal cast is Terrence Howard as Lt. Col. James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Tony's best friend and confidant. If there was one actor I felt dragged the move down it has to be Howard. His portrayal of Rhodey made me dislike the character immensely as he just comes across as a jerk 95% of the time. I feel like the only reason he and Downey Jr are friends is because the script says that they should be. The great thing about this movie is the combination of action and humor. Downey Jr has great banter with the robotic assistants in his workshop providing several moments of levity, and the sequence of trial and error experimentation of trying to build the suit is entertaining and hilarious. Iron Man is an origin story that doesn't feel like an origin story and that is one of the its greatest strengths. The final battle between Iron Man and Iron Monger is truly something to behold. As the first film in the MCU, the movie marks the first appearances of Clark Gregg as Phil Coulson and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (in the post-credits scene). Co-starring its director Jon Favreau (as Happy Hogan), Leslie Bibb, Bill Smitrovich, and Paul Bettany (as the voice of J.A.R.V.I.S.), the film also features cameos by Peter Billingsly, musician Tom Morello, comedian Ahmed Ahmed, and Marvel Comics legend Stan Lee. For those who don't know, Lee has a cameo in several films based on Marvel characters (most of which he had a hand in creating), a practice that stretches back to the 1989 TV movie The Trial of the Incredible Hulk. Iron Man won seventeen awards, including three Saturn Awards (Best Science Fiction Film, Best Actor: Robert Downey Jr. and Best Director: Jon Favreau), two Taurus Awards (Best Fire Stunt and Hardest Hit) and the AFI Award for Movie of the Year but was nominated for a whole lot more, including two Oscars. In a particularly painful defeat, the film was nominated for a Kids' Choice Award for Favorite Movie but lost to High School Musical 3: Senior Year. Ouch.

Universal Soldier: Regeneration (2009)

Film Title: Universal Soldier: Regeneration
Also known as: Universal Soldier: A New Beginning (Japan)
Released: October 1, 2009 (Austin Fantastic Fest)
Directed by: John Hyams

Written by: Victor Ostrovsky based on characters created by Dean Devlin, Christopher Leitch & Richard Rothstein

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren & Andrei Arlovski

Plot: A group of terrorists, who have gained control of a next-generation Universal Soldier, have taken hostages inside the Chernobyl nuclear reactor. Officials have call Luc Deveraux, one of the original UniSols, back into action to save the day.

IMDb: 5.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes: No score
My Score: 3/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Universal Soldier: Regeneration, known in Japan and Malaysia as A New Beginning, may be the fifth installment in the Universal Soldier franchise but is the first since the original film to be considered canon. A terrorist group has gotten their hands on an NGU (Andrei Arlovski), or Next-Generation UniSol, and have used him to kidnap the teenage children of the Ukranian prime minister. Holding the kids in the dilapidated Chernobyl nuclear reactor, they set up a series of explosives that, if detonated, would release a catastrophic radiation cloud. US troops team up with the Ukranian military to take down the bad guys but are decimated by the NGU. The only solution is to bring Luc Devereaux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) back into service. He's been living in Switzerland for years undergoing rehabilitation therapy with Dr. Fleming (Emily Joyce), who is trying to reintroduce him back into society. Regeneration, while it has some serious flaws, the lackluster script in particular, attempts to make up for many of them with some with some intense and brutal fight sequences, which really are the highlights of the film. The result is the best Universal Soldier film so far, in my opinion. There is some action in the first two thirds of the film but it is mostly mediocre. The opening kidnapping sequence is pretty good but its a car chase, not a fight. There are four Gen-1 UniSols sent in to take down Arlovski towards the beginning but only one actually puts up any sizable resistance, and it's not even John Foo, who is one of the other four! Things don't really heat up until Van Damme is let loose but that doesn't happen until the final thirty minutes of the film. But what a half an hour it is! The fight between Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren (who was literally shredded to pieces in the first film but returns here as a clone) is ten times better than any of their confrontations in the original. They put each other through concrete walls, down flights of stairs and ultimately out a five story window to the ground below. Needless to say they both end up really taking a beating. The fight between Arlovski and Mike Pyle, who is a human army captain in the film, is clearly indicative of their mixed martial arts backrounds, both men having fought in the UFC as well as other MMA promotions. And the final fight between Van Damme and Arlovski is the first time in the film that Arlovski is really given a challenge. There's no denying that this is a piece of action fluff but anyone looking for depth in a Universal Soldier movie is just kidding themselves. You don't come to the franchise for answers to the deep questions, you come for the action, which Regeneration ends up delivering, literally, in the end. Directed by John Hyams, his father, Peter Hyams, who directed Van Damme in the films Timecop and Sudden Death, serves as director of photography.

Murder By Phone (1982)

Film Title: Murder by Phone
Also known as: Bells, Hell's Bells, The Calling
Released: December 1982
Directed by: Michael Anderson
Written by: Michael Butler, John Kent Harrison & Dennis Shryack based on a story by George Armondo, Michael Butler, Dennis Shryack & James Whiton
Starring: Richard Chamberlain & John Houseman

Plot: Some one is killing people using the telephone. When one of his former students becomes a victim, environmental professor Nat Bridger tries to unravel the mystery and stop the madman responsible!

IMDb: 5.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes: No score
My Score: 2/5

Murder by Phone, also commonly known as Bells, is a 1982 Richard Chamberlain vehicle directed by the Oscar-nominated Michael Anderson. Chamberlain is Nat Bridger, an environmental professor who gets embroiled in a serial killer's rampage when one of his former students is murdered. Personal favorite John Houseman is Stanley Markowitz, Chamberlain's mentor who puts him up at his house while Chamberlain is in town to speak at a symposium. While investigating the girl's murder, Chamberlain encounters a hard-nosed cop (Gary Reineke) and uncovers a series of murders involving telephones. When he goes to the phone company to make inquiries into the matter, he is brushed off none too subtly by the powers that be who are trying to keep the situation under wraps. Of course this only strengthens his resolve to get to the bottom of things. This is a silly but interesting premise and the movie really doesn't live up to the potential of it. Chamberlain is stiff and unrelateable and even the indomitable Houseman seems to struggle with the thin plot. The ideas of an evil telephone company and killer telephones are pretty good ones and would have succeeded better if played tongue-in-cheek. The result, however, is a preposterous but inventive, poorly scripted and ultimately forgettable film. Not even the killer is memorable and the script doesn't even really explain his motivations for killing people. Sara Botsford co-stars as Chamberlain's love interest. Watch the good bits of the movie (the death scenes) below or the whole movie here.

City of Ember (2008)

Film Title: City of Ember
Released: October 10, 2008
Directed by: Gil Kenan

Written by: Caroline Thompson based on the book by Jeanne DuPrau

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Harry Treadaway, Tim Robbins & Bill Murray

Plot: In the majestic underground city of Ember, the great generator that has illuminated the darkness for generations has stared to fail. Two teenagers task themselves with finding a solution.

IMDb: 6.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 53/100
My Score: 3/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

City of Ember is a 2008 family adventure film from Tom Hanks' production company Playtone distributed by Walden Media. Directed by Gil Kenan from a script by frequent Tim Burton collaborator Caroline Thompson, it is based on the 2003 novel by Jeanne DuPrau and was released just two months after the final book in the series, The Diamond of Darkhold, hit store shelves. In the opening sequence, it is revealed that the city of Ember was built underground in order to preserve humanity following a global catastrophe. A mechanical box containing the instructions for reemergence on the surface, with a 200 year timer, is passed from mayor to mayor. This plot point is pretty cleverly conveyed by the box passing from one set of hands to another with the timer winding down to show the passage of years. When one mayor dies before imparting the importance of the box to a successor, it is placed in a closet and forgotten with 47 years left on the timer. The years pass, the box opens and no one notices. Now in the year 241, the ancient generator that provides light and energy for the city is failing. Having been running several decades beyond its intended use, blackouts are becoming commonplace and taking longer to resolve. Not only that, but the storehouses of food supplies are also running low. Into this scenario is introduced plucky teenager Lina Mayfleet (Saoirse Ronan), an orphan and descendant of the mayor who died in office, living with her dying, senile grandmother and much younger sister. On Assignment Day, a day where those who are of age chose the occupation they will perform for the rest of their lives by pulling job titles out of a burlap bag, Ronan is given the occupation of pipeworks laborer, much to her dismay. Another teen, Doon Harrow (Harry Treadaway) pulls out "messenger" but asks Ronan to switch with him. Working in the pipeworks will get him close to the generator, which he believes he will be able to fix if given the chance. She readily agrees, as messenger was the job she was hoping for in the first place. Ronan ends up coming across the long-forgotten box in the closet it was scuttled into but the papers inside are damaged. She enlists the help of Treadaway in solving the riddle and the duo uncover a conspiracy involving Mayor Cole (Bill Murray), his loyal henchman (Toby Jones, who looks like denizen of Whoville), a storeroom clerk named Looper (Mackenzie Crook) and a room full of hoarded food supplies. The kids realize that the contents of the box may be the one thing that can save Ember and chase the mystery voraciously, dodging Murray and company as well as giant, mutant moles that roam the ancient tunnels surrounding the city in the process. They are aided to various degrees in their pursuit by Treadaway's father (Tim Robbins), seasoned narcoleptic pipeworker Sul (Martin Landau) and an old friend of Ronan's family, greenhouse farmer Clary (Marianne Jean-Baptiste). In the grand tradition of child protagonists taking on entrenched and often corrupt adult authority, and usually saving the world in the process, City of Ember boasts some really incredible looking set design that has a post-apocalyptic-meets-steam-punk feel. We're treated to stand out performances from Ronan, who brings a quiet intelligence and hopefulness to Lina, and Robbins as a disheartened revolutionary whose spark is reignited by his son. Unfortunately, Murray as the corrupt mayor is a major let down as it seems he's sleepwalking through the film with Jones and Crook providing all the menace. The decent and sometimes impressive effects through the film end on a low note with a badly animated sequence of the heroes traveling through a series of underground water tunnels in what appears to be an homage to Splash Mountain. A brisk 95 minute run time glosses over much backstory and doesn't give you a chance to really explore this gorgeous and fascinating world. Also co-starring Mary Kay Place, City of Ember is a flawed but entertaining film that was nominated at the 2009 Irish Film and Television Awards (Best Actress in a Lead Role in a Film: Soairse Ronan) and the 2008 Satellite Awards (Best Art Direction & Production Design: Jon Billington, Martin Laing and Best Costume Design: Ruth Myers).

Jurassic Shark (2012)

Film Title: Jurassic Shark
Also known as: Attack of the Jurassic Shark
Released: April 20, 2012 (India)
Directed by: Brett Kelly

Written by: David A. Lloyd with additional dialogue from Trevor Payer

Starring: Emanuelle Carriere, Christine Emes & Celine Filion

Plot: An oil company's drilling unleashes a megalodon that terrorizes a group of thieves and coeds in a lake, trapping them on an island.

IMDb: 1.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes: No score
My Score: 0.5/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Jurassic Shark is 2012 Canadian horror movie from no-budget director Brett Kelly. An oil company illegally drilling on an island in a lake in Canada unleashes a giant ancient shark from its prison of ice. A gang of art thieves making a water escape after their heist lose their painting in the water after the shark tips over their boat, killing one of them. A group of coeds, one of whom is trying to gain proof of the illegal drilling operation, also show up and are tipped over on their way to the island in the lake, killing one of them as well. The two disparate groups join forces for survival after they meet. However, the thieves still need to get their painting from the water, so their leader (Angela Parent) keeps sending people in to retrieve the goods. Needless to say, everyone who goes into the water dies. In the end, with the help of some dynamite, the last two coeds end up defeating the shark. Afterward, however, another megalodon is revealed to still be in the lake and hungry, eating a pair of fisherman. Really bad effects, atrocious acting and a nonsensical script make this a terrible movie but I like terrible movies. I appreciate ridiculousness for the sake of ridiculousness and can overlook a lot when a movie can turn that corner from being bad to being good again. Jurassic Shark almost gets to that point but fails even at that. It does have its moments, though. For example, when one of the thieves is standing in shallow water and the shark eats him and swims away. Or the Free Willy moment when the shark jumps over the heads of Emanuelle Carriere and Christine Emes on the beach, eats Parent in mid-flight leaving only the bloody stumps of her legs, and goes back into the water. Pretty epic. Unfortunately, there's not enough of these types of moments to get it to the "so bad its good" level. And while there are plenty of girls in bikinis (or bikini tops, anyway), there's no nudity in the movie for a T&A factor, either. The movie itself is just over an hour but Kelly adds an additional thirteen minutes for the closing credits. Starting with everyone in the movie receiving a video credit with their name over slow motion clips of themselves, it runs for another ten minutes after that with the slowest moving credits you've ever seen in the largest font possible. This is definitely one of those movies that has the all the good parts, of which there are few, in the trailer.

Batman (1966)

Film Title: Batman
Also known as: Batman: The Movie, Batman & Robin (Hong Kong)
Released: July 30, 1966
Directed by: Leslie H. Martinson

Written by: Lorenzo Semple Jr. based on characters created by Bill Finger, Edmond Hamilton, Bob Kane, Sheldon Moldoff, Jerry Robinson, & Dick Sprang

Starring: Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, Cesar Romero, Burgess Medredith, & Frank Gorshin

Plot: The Dynamic Duo, Batman and Robin, must save the world from the combined forces of Catwoman, the Riddler, the Penguin & the Joker.

IMDb: 6.5/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 79/100
My Score: 3.5/5

1966's Batman, later commonly referred to as Batman: The Movie, was released in between seasons one and two of the Batman television series. The stars of the show, Adam West and Burt Ward, are present in their roles as Batman and Robin, respectively, as are the most notorious villains from their rogues gallery: Cesar Romero as the Joker, Burgess Meredith as the Penguin and Frank Gorshin as the Riddler. Lee Meriwether makes her only appearance as Catwoman, taking over for Julie Newmar who appeared in both seasons one and two of the series but was unable to star in the film due scheduling conflicts. The story concerns the super villains kidnapping inventor Commodore Schmidlapp (Reginald Denny as in his final film appearance) and his invention, the total dehydrator, a device that removes every bit of water from a person, reducing them to dust. Aiding the Caped Crusader and Boy Wonder are their allies Commissioner Gordon (Neil Hamilton), Chief O'Hara (Stafford Repp) and trusty butler Alfred Pennyworth (Alan Napier), all whom appear on the series. Wacky and surreal, including colorful onscreen signs reading "Pow!", "Bang!", etc, during fight scenes, a proliferation of Dutch angles and nearly everyone onscreen overacting, it stands as a touchstone of camp, and watched as such, is a lot of fun. Batman is one of my favorite comic book characters and I usually prefer the darker, grittier, post-Frank Miller version of him. Miller's 1986 comic book miniseries The Dark Knight Returns forever eradicated the kitschy aesthetic associated with the character for years after the series ended. But this adaptation of the hero hearkens back to the more family friendly, post-World War II era of Batman history, and does so wonderfully. While everyone is delightfully demented, I enjoyed Gorshin's interpretation of the Riddler the most out of all the villains. He imbues the character with such manic madness that he has an almost childlike sense of wonder that is truly a treat to watch. The godfather of fitness Jack LaLanne makes a quick cameo as a man on a rooftop exercising with a group of girls who wave at the Batcopter as it passes overhead near the beginning of movie. In 1972, director Leslie H. Martinson won the Golden Gryphon Award at the Giffoni Film Festival for his work on the movie. Watch the trailer below and check out this informative feature length history of Batman and review of the movie from The DVD Shelf Movie Reviews.

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

Film Title: Universal Soldier: The Return
Released: August 20, 1999
Directed by: Mic Rogers

Written by: John Fasano & William Malone based on characters created by Dean Devlin, Christopher Leitch & Richard Rothstein

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Michael Jai White, Heidi Schanz & Bill Goldberg

Plot: When the UniSol program gets shut down by the government, the supercomputer that controls them goes rogue. Its up to Luc Deveraux, the original Universal Soldier but now human, to stop it.

IMDb: 4.0/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 5/100
My Score: 1.5/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Universal Soldier: The Return marks the return of Jean-Claude Van Damme to the franchise following his absence from the made-for-television films Brothers in Arms and Unfinished Business, the events of which are completely ignored here. Unfortunately, this movie is nearly as bad as those two. Van Damme is Luc Deveraux, the sole surviving UniSol from the first film. Not only is he human again but he also has a thirteen year old daughter (Karis Paige Bryant). How either one of these things is possible is beyond me, but I digress. He works as a technical expert for the program with scientist Xander Berkeley, creator of the Self-Evolving Thought Helix, or S.E.T.H., a self-aware supercomputer that controls the Universal Soldier units. When the government decides to stop funding the program, S.E.T.H. goes rogue, taking over the compound using the UniSols at his command, led by Bill Goldberg. S.E.T.H. then implants himself into a body enhanced with nanotechnology (Michael Jai White), effectively becoming the UniSol messiah. A fail safe built into the programming requires Van Damme to type a code into the system within eight hours or S.E.T.H.'s memory will be wiped. S.E.T.H. kidnaps Van Damme's daughter in an attempt to coerce him into giving up the code but the whole situation ends up being moot as S.E.T.H. figures it out by himself anyway. Tossed into the mix is a journalist (Heidi Schanz) who was at the facility when S.E.T.H. took over and who ends up being the gal pal and love interest for Van Damme (his wife died years previously). So if my explanation of the plot isn't enough to tell you already, this script is beyond ridiculous. The acting is sub-par by everyone and the fight scenes are pretty unexciting. There are a few good explosions and the heavy metal soundtrack is decent, featuring songs by Megadeth, Static-X, Anthrax, Fear Factory, Ministry, Gwar and Powerman 5000, but very little else of value is to be found. This was the directorial debut of stuntman Mic Rogers and stands as his only credit as a director to date. Along with Brothers in Arms and Unfinished Business, The Return is ignored by the future installments of the franchise and is not considered canon.

Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)

Film Title: Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave
Released: October 15, 2005
Directed by: Ellory Elkayem
Written by: William Butler & Aaron Strongoni

Starring: John Keefe, Jenny Mollen, Cory Hardrict, Aimee-Lynn Chadwick & Cain Manoli

Plot: The teenage survivors of Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis are now in college. When they come across a trioxin canister, one of the more entrepreneurial among them starts making a drug called Z from the contents, unwittingly turning those whose use it into the brain-craving undead.

IMDb: 3.2/10
Rotten Tomatoes: No score
My Score: 1.75/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave, the fifth installment of the series, was filmed back to back with its predecessor, Necropolis. That being the case, the same cast (those that survived, anyway) and creative team was in place for both films. Rave to the Grave is probably the better movie, though. That's not say that its good, because it isn't. The movie opens with Peter Coyote attempting to sell one of the trioxin canisters he stole from Hybra Tech at the end of Necropolis to a group of Russians. This is a reversal from the beginning of that movie where he was buying the canisters from a group of Russians. Anyway, he gets killed by a zombie during the transaction, as does one of the buyers. Coyote's nephew, John Keefe, and his friends Cory Hardrict and Aimee-Lynn Chadwick, the only survivors of Necropolis, are now together in college, although they seem to have no memories of anything that happened in that film. For example, Coyote kidnapped one of Keefe's friends, turned his dead parents into zombie cyborgs and was responsible for his younger brother's death but is upset when he finds out Coyote died. After Keefe is given the news of Coyote's death, he goes to his house and discovers a secret room in the attic with the remaining trioxin canisters. Not knowing what they are, he and his girlfriend Jenny Mollen take one of them to Hardrict, a computer genius in the previous film and now a chemistry expert, to analyze it. He discovers that it has very similar properties to the street drug ecstasy. Keefe and Mollen want to turn the canisters into the authorities but Hardrict, along with Mollen's brother Cain Manoli, decide to make a street drug called Z out of it before it gets confiscated and make some quick cash. If you've seen even one Return of the Living Dead film you know that any exposure to trioxin results in you being turned into a zombie and it is no different here. Once Keefe and Mollen discover what Hardrict and Manoli have done, its too late as they have a full scale zombie uprising on their hands. To complicate matters, its Halloween and Manoli, who is a DJ, is throwing a huge rave where the drug is being distributed freely. Due to the costumed nature of the holiday, most of the zombies go unnoticed until they start eating their victims. The Russians from the beginning (Claudiu Bleont and Sorin Cocis) are bumbling Interpol agents who spend most of the movie trying to retrieve the remaining canisters. What makes Rave to the Grave better than Necropolis is that the level intentional comedy and absurdity has been ratcheted up. A zombie getting decapitated with an electric guitar, the cartoonish convulsions of those high on Z, and the "tarman" zombie from the canister trying to make his way to the rave to join his undead brethren holding a sign on the side of the freeway that reads "Rave or Bust" are just a few examples. Needless to say, nobody stops for him. Much of the intentional comedy comes from the inept Russians and their interactions with the Americans and each other. Not that any of the jokes are particularly funny but they do give a generally more lighthearted feeling to movie. Rave to the Grave also sports more gore than the previous film and contains nudity, something which was absent from Necropolis. I guess the boob factor was okay in this one now that the kids are out of high school and in college. Not that I'm saying nudity makes a movie better but it certainly doesn't hurt in this case. I rated Necropolis 1.5 out of 5 stars and since Rave to the Grave is better that than that one, but not good enough to be rated a 2, I've split difference and given it the odd rating of 1.75.

Supernova (2000)

Film Title: Supernova
Released: January 14, 2000
Directed by: Walter Hill (as Thomas Lee)

Written by: David C. Wilson based on a story by Daniel Chuba & William Malone

Starring: James Spader, Angela Bassett, Peter Facinelli, Robin Tunney, Lou Diamond Phillips, Wilson Cruz & Robert Forster

Plot: A deep space medical rescue ship answers a distress signal from a distant mining colony and the lone survivor they pick up brings aboard an artifact of unknown origin.

IMDb: 4.7/10
Rotten Tomatoes: 10/100
My Score: 1.5/5

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Supernova had a tumultuous production and the end result shows it. Originally pitched by William Malone in 1990, the script went through many changes before finally being produced. The movie opens introducing the crew of the Nightingale 229, a deep space medical rescue ship. They receive a distress signal from thousands of light years away from an abandoned mining colony. The ship is damaged upon arrival at the colony on a rogue ice moon orbiting a blue giant star. The mysterious survivor (Peter Facinelli) they rescue brings aboard an alien artifact discovered in the mines. It turns out to be a ninth dimensional bomb that transforms the humans who come into physical contact with it. Facinelli becomes increasingly stronger, younger and homicidal, killing nearly everyone on board in an effort to keep the artifact for himself. In the end, he gets jettisoned into space with the artifact right before it explodes, igniting the blue giant into a supernova. The two remaining crew members (James Spader and Angela Bassett) barely escape the blast and as they are leaving, the ships computer informs them that the supernova will reach Earth in fifty-one years and will either destroy all life or "enable mankind to achieve a new level of existence." The end. Seriously, that's how it ends. Spader (who looks fantastic) and Bassett try to bring some depth to the material but have a hard time because there's not much to mine. Facinelli is great as the nice guy but when he starts showing his true colors he begins to falter. The effects are decent with the exception of the ship's robot. MGM didn't want to give director Walter Hill money for an animatronic so he was left with a guy in a shiny suit that looks like, well, a guy in a shiny suit. This "robot" wouldn't be out of place in a B sci-fi movie from the 1950's but it sticks out like a sore thumb here. The other actors are adequate in their roles but there isn't enough for them to do and when they die, you don't really care. Hill and the executives at MGM butted heads over several issues, including the number of effects shots needed to be completed in post-production, leading to Hill quitting the movie. When test screenings of the film met with poor results, MGM brought in Jack Sholder for extensive, uncredited re-shoots. Sholder's cut also met with poor test scores and Francis Ford Coppola was brought aboard to re-edit the film yet again. The final result hit theaters nearly two years after it was originally planned to and was almost universally panned by critics. Hill had his name removed the movie, and the pseudonym Thomas Lee was used in place of the more traditional Alan Smithee. The trailer below is proof that the studio had no idea what to do with this mess as they tried to market it as a lighthearted sci-fi adventure film instead of the darker sci-fi thriller that it is.